You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
