I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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