fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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