She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
