it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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