absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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