i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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