You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
