Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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