Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
