paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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