I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize