I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
