I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
