Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
