We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
