Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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