There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
