And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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