wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
