i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
