Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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