I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
