Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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