Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
