Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
