This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize