i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
