good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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