I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
