Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
