Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's just like the Real World with babies
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
