Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
