So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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