If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
