So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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