Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My vagina is officially offended.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
