very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
