thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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