I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
