he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
