broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
