i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
