My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
