I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
