What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
