it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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