We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize