hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
