I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
