I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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