After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
