She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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