So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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