I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
